recently i've been wondering, if any of what i'm doing makes a difference at all. i see the failures, frens tt i din't hlp, hu fell away into darkness. for some, it's not rly too late for me to hlp them, but its just too difficult. i've lost contact with them mostly, other than the occasional msn chat. they've turned away completely, and now, all i can do is stay here beside them, show them i'm here, and watch as they destroy themselves. for one, it's alr too late, and nth more on earth or in heaven can be done for him.

even more, as i try and hlp others around me, i sometimes feel hypocritical, sometimes realising tt i'm going thru similar issues in life, and haven't worked it out yet. even worse, when i give advice to others, they take it more seriously than i do and try harder, while i've sometimes given up too early. conclusion: they recover.

but i realised smth. tt despite the number of times i've failed, there r still others i must hlp. it's their decision to make, whether to turn to God or to continue in what they're doing. i can talk to them, try to convince them, support them, encourage them, warn them, but in the end, it's their decision to make. i need to keep on hlping others hu r going thru tough times, or rough situations. and there r others hu do turn back.

i've been encouraged, by ppl like joan, alisa, daryl, gabriel and others, hu did pull thru the hardship and came out stronger. these r the ppl i'm doing it for, and for them, i will not give up, no matter how heavy the burden is. i noe i can count on my frens to support me, and i can count on God to strengthen and empower me as i do His work, and because of tt, i will not give up, and will nvr give up, this burden of supporting and encouraging ppl around me.

thank you gerry for convincing, convicting and commiting me of/to my burden, so tt i will not lay it down.
thank you joan for supporting me thru this.